Slices Of Souls
by EnglandBabe1997
Summary: A series of short one-shot drabbles from The Host, canon pairings.
1. Family

**This is the first is a series of short one-shots (I need to stop writing these) about The Host x Please read and review to tell me what you think so far x**

When Melanie gets her body back there are many things she wants to do. To kiss Jared, tell him how much he means to her, to tell him she loves him. To hug Jamie and Jeb and maybe even Ian for making Wanda feel loved. To see the sky again with her own eyes, and breath the air with her own lungs.

To make sure that Sharon and Aunt Maggie know exactly how much they've screwed up by doing this - to her, to all of them.

They hate the Souls, and up until now she could understand that. But Wanda was innocent, her _sister_.

Sharon and Maggie have done more than just hurt a Soul, more than just hurt a friend.

They have hurt _family _and she will make sure that they know it.


	2. Erased

it feels like she's trapped, like she's alone in the darkness and the walls are closing in around her. It doesn't hurt, but it feels _wrong_ and the wrongness feels stranger than if it hurt.

It is like her body is _welcoming_ the intrusion.

Well, it's not going to anymore - not if she has anything to say about it. This body is her own, not the Soul's, not Wanderer's.

This is _her_ body and she's here to stay. They don't get to choose to erase her, not now not ever. She has Jared and Jamie to think of.

She can't give up now. She promised Jamie she would come back to him. And she never breaks her promises.


	3. Good Or Bad

He doesn't know what to say to her when she wakes up. The thought that she'd been willing to die breaks something inside of him apart, something fundamental. Was it so hard to imagine being with him that she preferred death?

No, it wasn't. It was for him, for Melanie and Jared and Jamie. And that's something he loves and hates about her in equal measures - her selflessness.

She is in the new body, looking like an angel, but she always looked like that to him. Not in Melanie's body, no, but as that tiny beautiful glowing creature that was her real form.

He doesn't know how he's supposed to react to this.

He doesn't know how _she's_ going to react to this.

Her eyes flutter open in this new body, the move already entirely Wanda. She looks panicked and scared so he reassures her and it's like an instinct.

Then he kisses her. He probably shouldn't, not this soon, but he can't help himself. But still he has to ask, "Good or bad?"

They've got lots of things to work out, lots of things that could go wrong.

But for now she smiles. "Definitely good."


	4. Shell

Jamie doesn't know what to say when he first meets the shell that is his sister, his sister with someone else in her body.

He considers being cruel, like Jared.

He considers being kind, like Jeb.

He can see the merits of both.

He doesn't know what he feels towards this _thing_, because he doubts it's actually the creature within her's fault that she is here.

He's seen people who have been fully taken over by the Souls, those that betray their own kin - like their father. Sure the Soul (Melanie) is here, but she doesn't seem to have any wish to escape and report them to the Seekers. In fact, she just seemed to want to see the rest of them were safe, and then give up.

Jamie can tell that she's waiting to die.

And when she's wearing his sister's skin, that's the scariest thing he's ever seen.


	5. Not Melanie

When the thing that isn't Melanie in Melanie's body walks through the entrance to their hide out Jared is seized by a strange mixture of feelings that he can't control. There is the urge to hug her, pull her close, inspect her for injuries, but she won't have any. Not since the Souls got a hold of her.

There is the urge to choke her and watch the silver fade out of her eyes until Melanie is Melanie again, even if she is dead. But he can't hurt Melanie, even if it isn't Melanie in there anymore. No matter what he tries to tell himself, he can't do it.

He just doesn't know what he _can_ do.


	6. Maybe

Sunny seemed so frightened as Doc put her under. Having known Wanda for as long as he has, and learning to tolerate her, this makes Kyle feel some measure of pity. But Sunny is in _Jodi's_ body, and if there's anything in this world he wants it's Jodi back.

Fate disagrees.

Jodi isn't coming back to him, not this time, not after three days of waiting and watching. Her body is literally wasting away before Kyle's eyes and he can't stand to see that, anymore than he could stand to see the Soul within her. And that gives him an idea. If Jodi isn't gone, then she will only be found with time and someone in the body.

If he puts Sunny back (and the thought makes him cringe in horror), then maybe she can find Jodi.

Maybe Jodi is gone.

Maybe she isn't.

Maybe Sunny can find her. And if she can't, maybe Sunny deserves to live as well.

It's a though he's never had about the Souls before.

He blames his brother.


	7. Comparison

Sometimes she wonders what she thinks about the other worlds she's visited. She wonders about the people she met there (are they friends, are they not) and the differences between the hosts there and the hosts her on Earth.

Comparing the two is very strange because there is almost no comparison.

The hosts here on Earth are strong, their feelings stronger than anything she's ever experienced. She admires and hates Melanie in equal measure for resisting, because she knows that she herself is strong and yet Melanie has fight in her.

This whole planet is strange, but somehow she can't regret coming.


	8. Feelings

When she's just a Soul, without a Host, she isn't really aware of anything. She's counting on that if Doc keeps his word and leaves her to die, because it means she won't feel _anything_ as she dies, and what with the strong emotions in Melanie that seems fitting somehow.

But right now she's in Melanie, with all these _human_ emotions like fear and love and anger. She can feel Melanie's anger and sadness at what Wanda has chosen to do. She can feel her own fear, if it is her own, at the thought of dying. She feels her love for Ian, and Melanie's for Jared, and then little Jamie.

She thinks the idea of not being to feel anything is what frightens her the most.


	9. Liking 'It'

Most of the time Kyle wonders if his brother knows what he's doing. Kyle has seen the looks that Ian throws it, and they get increasingly stronger every time that Kyle seems him.

Ian seems to _like_ it.

He seems to forget that it's a Soul, like one of the things that took over their parents and Jodi and everyone they ever knew until they were mere strangers with the same faces. They were aliens, one's that wanted to destroy their minds and crush their personalities to be controlled by a wriggling _worm_ in the back of their head.

And Ian seems to _like_ this one.

Kyle wonders if the Souls have discovered a new way of converting people to their side, because if they have it's working.


	10. Useless

She hates feeling useless. As a Soul, everyone gives and takes in a way that balances out their community, depending on their Calling. But in the caves they hardly have a use for gardening or car washers. They need workers, hard workers who can work for hours and work well.

Pet's body can't do that. So she is resigned to sitting around doing laundry, when she feels like, when she _remembers_, doing so much more to help. It itches at her, underneath the skin, to do something more productive and helpful.

Every time she tries Ian pops up.

She thinks he's got a watch on her. Well then, she'll just have to wait until he's gone, because she _hates_ feeling useless.


	11. Too Good

It's only when she's been gone for a few days that he goes after her. After all, these days, a few hours is rarely anything to worry about and going after them is only likely to get you killed instead.

And Melanie's tough, as well as good. The Seekers won't catch her - or at least that's what he tells himself.

He almost hates it that he cares so much, because one of these days she could get captured and then it's the caring about her that hurts. Because then it's the face of the people you care about betraying you, and not just some random stranger.

But Melanie is too good to get caught and if it's close to it, he knows what she'll do (he agrees, even if he hates it).

She's not going to get caught.

It becomes his mantra.


	12. Blame

She wonders if It can see that she feels guilty. Because Melanie only got caught looking for Sharon, so it's really Sharon's fault that Jamie's lost his sister and that Jared's lost the love of his life.

But Melanie chose to come, so it's not really her fault.

She can't blame herself.

Or at least that's what she tells herself until the thing wearing her cousin's body walks through the caves like she's got the right to be there. She can see the pain on Jamie's face, the agony on Jared's.

And it's her fault. Because of Melanie got caught.

No, it's not her fault. It's not.

It's that thing's.

She hates it (because it's her fault).


	13. Stolen

Sometimes Wanda wonders about Pet, about the people (the Souls) that must be waiting for her back home. Because a body of this age has friends and family, and they've just taken her away and taken her out to replace her with Wanda.

Even though it's not human life she's suppressing and even though Pet is safely on her way to another world, she feels sick.

This world, these bodies, have made her feels things she's never experienced, the kind of pain and fear and love she's never felt before.

And she feels sorry for taking something like that away from Pet. Because she must've loved people too.


	14. Splatter

They covered up the bodies they say.

No they haven't. They've covered up the bodies that matter to them, leaving the blood of her family splattered on the walls, a reminder of how little they care, a reminder of what they could do to her.

She's never seen anything like this before, not it all her worlds. Because with as much love and true friendship there is in this world, there is anger and hate to match it.

And here it is anger towards the Souls, towards her, the kind of hatred that ends up with her splattered across the walls as well.


	15. Forcing It Back

She can hear _her_ again, screaming in the back of her head. A brief rush of panic floods through her - this should be over by now all the resources say (not that they have much to say on this particular topic).

She's not strong enough, to keep her back.

Lacey keeps on screaming in the back of her head and the Seeker shakes her head to rid her head of the shouts. Because this is her body now, not Lacey's, and Lacey should be long gone by now.

Only she isn't.

She's too strong.

The Seeker shuts her eyes and forces the screams down, forcing the fear down with it.


	16. Beautiful

No matter what she says, she's beautiful. When they are moving her from Melanie's body, into Pet's, he doesn't feel any of the revulsion, any of the hatred that she said he would.

All he feels is awe, holding her in his hands and touching the most exposed part of her. It flutters in his hands, like a butterfly. He barely remembers them, flying free in the open air as he hasn't been able to do for so long, but he remembers one landing on a bush right next to him, a few years before the invasion, and watching it until it flew away with the sunset.

This here, in his hands, is Wanda, the woman he fell in love with, not whichever body she happens to be in.

Because he knows now that Wanda is no longer there, Melanie will have no appeal for him.

He will not care - not like he used to.

He's got Wanda, in this new body. Ian had refused to go with them when they picked the body out, refused to leave her alone. Because he doesn't mind what body she ends up in, as long as _she's_ happy.

Because he never really cared about the shell.


	17. Crazy

It's the crazy ones that survive.

The ones that believed in conspiracy theories and had safe houses and escape plans and food packs stored in strange places. The people who knew that the world wasn't quite what it seemed but didn't know what else was out there.

The ones that were prepared for anything.

Even an alien invasion from the inside out.

It's the crazy ones that live, which is how Jeb has managed for so long, in spite of the Souls hunting down the last remnants of the human resistance.

So he may be crazy, but he's damn glad for it.


	18. Coming Back

It's the waiting that's the worst bit, the hoping that they will come back as they are and not as something else, their eyes glowing silver blue and their head twisted by something else.

Most of the time they come back fine, they come back human, and everyone is just that little bit better off, with more food and supplies and medicine.

Other times not all of them come back, but none of them come back as Souls. They choose the other way out, the harder way out, to prevent themselves from betraying anything to the Seekers.

And their bodies don't come back either.


	19. Invading Alien

Sometimes she feels so at home on Earth that she forgets she's actually an alien.

Sure this body _feels_ alien, but it's also the most at home she's been in centuries.

Her forgetfulness is quickly rectified though, through the harsh glare one of the other inhabitants of the cave throws at her.

She is the intruder here - she has no place in their home, invading their place of safety after she and her kind have taken their planet. That is what they're thinking.

And no matter how at home she feels, she knows they are right. She is the alien here, no matter how much like home it feels.


	20. Lucky

**I had a request for more Jeb - here it is x Please read and review to tell me what you think xx**

Jeb knows that _maybe_ he's just pushing his luck.

This could go terribly, horribly wrong and end up with the body of his niece on the floor.

But he does it anyway, because he's crazy and everyone knows it. He's also in charge here, not them, so he'll do it because if _he_ does, he's the one to be most likely listened to.

He likes her stories, Wanda, and she's got an awful lot of them to tell. She's seen things none of them have, world's they never will, and tells them about it was a natural flair for story-telling.

And maybe, if he's lucky, the others might find it as interesting as he does.


	21. Instincts

It's confusing, this. It contradicts everything her memories tell her, that humans are dangerous beings, things that are out to destroy her and her kin.

Her first impressions are a bit of a mix of that.

But Kyle is there, and her memories tell her that he is good as well, though she couldn't tell you where the memories came from. There was just something deep inside of her telling her to trust this man, no matter what.

So Sunny did.

And it was scary, because humans were out to kill them, and they could easily succeed.

But her instincts were telling her to trust Kyle, so she would.


	22. Murderers

Monsters, she calls them, torturers. And she's right.

Because this should have stopped when she arrived, when she became their friend, when she started to _matter_.

This shouldn't have continued. Sure, he can see Jared's reasons - he wants Melanie back more than ever, not that she's here but not really here and there's a way to get her back.

Ian doesn't care.

Because somewhere down the line he's grown to _like_ Wanda, not just the body she's in.

He can't bear to see her look at him like she does the rest.

But he doesn't deserve any better than them.

They all did this, to her kin - to babies it would seem.

None of them would ever condone this for a human and they can't expect Wanda to condone it for her own.

For all they call the Souls murderers, so are they.


	23. Memories

Wanda doesn't reminisce about her other lives as much as she used to. What with how different this life is and the way her name has changed over the centuries, some of the memories fading into each other, it's more like the things happened to another person, not herself.

She doesn't miss those lives, she never has, but she doesn't think about them anymore either.

This life is all she wants now, and it's going to end soon. She can't kill Melanie by leaving her trapped in here, screaming to get out. She refuses to.

And she refuses to leave Ian. No, she has lived here and will die here, almost as if nothing in her past had ever happened.

She doesn't care about the past anymore. All that matters is right now.


	24. Silver

He never gets used to the fact that Melanie isn't Melanie anymore. Every time he turns a corner something in his heart squeezes tight at the fact that she is _alive_ and here with him.

Only she isn't anymore.

This isn't Melanie, only her shell. There is something else inside her, something _alien_ (in the truest sense of the word).

Melanie is gone.

But sometimes it's hard to remember that, what with the way he sees her eyes light up whenever he is around.

And then he remembers. Her eyes aren't lighting up, only reflecting the silver rings in their depths.


	25. Scar

He remembers being a child and his mother scolding him whenever he fell over, sighing at the scabs on his knees and the scrapes on his palms. Maybe if it happened less often, for reasons other than fighting, then she would've been more tolerant when Kyle came home all scratched up.

He hopes she would've understood this, because in this case there really is no other choice.

This is more than fighting, this is war, and to fight they've got to get the upper hand, some sort of advantage.

And that means blending it, whatever it takes.

So he takes the knife and drags it over his neck, as carefully as possible, knowing the wound will scar.

And this time that is what he wants.


	26. Different

When she wakes up in her new body there are feelings like she's never felt before running through her. There are thought and feelings and people, like every other planet she's been on.

But this time it's different.

She knows that because she doesn't even have to think and her mind comes up with Jamie and the protective feelings that come with him, a mother lion protecting her cubs.

Jared and the swell of love that makes her heart want to burst.

Jeb and gratefulness and protection and family.

This time it's different. And she knows that it will never be the same again.


	27. Famous

Ian wonders at some of the awed looks the Souls throw at Wanda once they have stopped looking terrified.

So one time he asks Sunny, when Wanda is safely nowhere in distance and because he doesn't feel comfortable asking other Souls about his girlfriend.

She laughs prettily (she's been becoming a lot more confident in the last few weeks, building on Kyle's promises that he won't make he leave if she really doesn't want to, as long as she carries on looking for Jodi). "Didn't you know your girlfriend was famous?" She asks.

No, he can say honestly. He didn't.

But now he's going to ask.


	28. Don't Say A Word

Sometimes Wanda talks about her life on other planets without really ever saying anything. It's for the benefit of her audience, the humans that no nothing of life off this planet except for the Souls that have invaded it, and are curious to know more.

So she tells them the facts - she tells Doc everything he wants to know that she knows about their anatomy and medicine. She tells Jamie stories of orange skies and dolphins and the kind of things that he only ever watched on TV before the invasion.

But it doesn't really matter because she's talking without actually saying anything.


	29. Give And Take

She isn't sure whether or not she's surprised that there are others out there like her, Souls that have found friends in the humans whose lives they have destroyed. She's pleased certainly, at the idea that she isn't the only Soul compassionate enough to care, that these aren't the only humans willing to see her outside this shell.

But surprise isn't the word she'd think of. Souls are naturally compassionate by nature, so that's why.

But she didn't expect anyone else to break through the learning they've been given - we take, because we have to, not because we _want _to.

And she's not the only Soul to realise that that's not true.


	30. Accepted

When he meets Wanda, Burns is intrigued. She is not the first to find sympathy with the humans - he is proof of that - but her case is still unique. She has been spared because she has formed a romantic relationship with one of these humans, something which no matter how dear he values his new human friends he cannot quite understand.

What does these humans know of other planets, of the centuries they have lived, of _them_?

But somehow that doesn't seem to matter with these people, and to be quite honest he likes it.

It makes Earth feel like home.


	31. Worlds Away

In another universe, worlds away, the Souls never invade Earth.

Wanda never comes to Earth, never feels the complexity of what they do, never sees them for as they are.

Jared never meets Melanie, whole worlds between them - most of the American states, and more than a few rivers too wide to cross.

Jeb is labelled crazy, insane, and even though most of his ideas aren't all that crazy, they sound it.

Ian and Kyle get on, but Ian gets on even better with his sister-in-law Jodie, so that's all good.

In another world everything is different.

And not much of it is better.


	32. Glowing In The Dark

Jamie doesn't like being in the caves at first. Sure it's safe, which is more than he's had in the last two years, but it's dark at night and cold and so big it's almost lonely.

In the day he explored the tunnels, trying to find somewhere that felt real.

And in the end he found it, darkening into the light of evening, a thousand glow worms shimmering in the dark.

He shifted, kicking a rock by accident, and the lights vanished. A pang of dismay ran through him, and he sat down on the floor.

No, he wasn't sulking.

After a while he looked up from his death glare on the floor and grinned.

The cave was alive with lights.


	33. Planning

It starts off just like any other raid. They prepare, they plot - there is a plan for every possible situation, everything that they might come across.

Everything but this.

Jared gives her a smile and Ian kisses her gently, once on the cheek and then again on the mouth. Then they join the others to go out the door, and goodness knows how much Wanda wants to go with them but this time she's promised to stay in the caves, with Jamie and Melanie.

Only she would've gone this time.

If she knew that he wasn't going to come back.


	34. Ways Out

She knows they are here. She can hear them.

She runs, harder and faster than she ever has in her life. Faster than when she thought Jared was a Soul, harder than she did to get to Jamie.

This was running back to both of them, of sorts, but she knew she'd never get there.

They'd catch her first, and twist her into something she wasn't. They'd take her out and stuff something else in, something to take over her head and tell them where Jared was, where Jamie was.

She couldn't do that to them, she refused to.

And she couldn't outrun this one.

But there was one other way out, the only reason why she was this many floors up in the first place.

She dived for the first window she saw.


	35. Heartbroken

Doc hates this, trying and failing. Even if it's Souls, it's still murder. They die in pain, even as he tries his best to make it as quick as possible.

Because he _can't _give up. This is their only hope of survival, this little experiment into the Souls and even if it kills both the Soul and their Host they can't stop trying.

They need him to carry on, no matter how much he hates it, no matter how much it goes against what he believes.

He patients are literally dying in his hands and he does it again.

As Einstein said, it is the definition of madness.

And it breaks his heart.


	36. Motherhood

Wanda had never thought this could happen. Sure she's in a human body, but she isn't human, not really.

They should have something done to them that stops this, she's sure of it.

How can this happen?

How can a Soul get pregnant by a human man? Her only way the Motherhood is to kill herself, not the strange things that (though she will admit to liking it) humans do to procreate.

She has to say though. She wouldn't mind being a mother, it's everything she's always wanted and Melanie seems so excited for her.

Now, how to tell Ian...


	37. Through New Eyes

Her first life was a long time ago, longer than she can clearly remember. She had been on a planet of fire, or maybe of butterflies, and their forms had been so tiny, particularly in comparison to the human form she was in now. It had been so bright, all the colours of this human rainbow and several others beside.

She had been so young, in her first life, still knowing nothing of the universe around her.

It had been so wonderful, looking at the world through those eyes, and that never changed - no matter what form she was in.


	38. Takeover

They are some of the first Settlers on this planet, this strange planet that is so different from the other's they have visited.

This planet seems far more aware of the threat of alien 'invasion', even if people who believe that it is possible are scorned. There are some people that will be willing to fight back, and maybe even win.

Yes, Earth is very different to other planets they've been to.

But they've been prepared for these kind of eventualities, to keep quiet and small, moving slowly. They don't reveal themselves until they are sure that they won't have a real fight.

The invasion is slow and quiet, and no one knows it's happening until it's over.


	39. Alone

It's strange how he almost doesn't remember life without Melanie, or perhaps he doesn't want to. Maybe that's because life before her was so dark and dangerous, always running, before she told him of all the little places where they could be safe and a family, and he blocks out thoughts of life before the invasion because they hurt too much.

Still, now that she's not here it's like all light has gone out of the world, like it's all dark.

The world feels so cold.

But he's got to be strong, for Jamie, because the kid doesn't have anyone else.

Jared doesn't either.


	40. Everything Has A Price

Doc can't believe that he's actually doing this. After so long of trying and failing, after so much death - at his hands, as well as other's - it is finally working.

Maybe he hasn't found a solution to the problem, but they've got someone who has and that someone is willing to teach him.

But only for a price.

And that makes his heart sink, because honestly he thinks the world of Wanda. She doesn't act like a Soul and most of the time it's actually hard to remember she is one. She tells them all stories, of Souls, of the lives she's led, and she does it all like she wants to be there, even back when she was more of a prisoner in those caves than they are.

He doesn't want to do this.

But he has to.

And he hates himself for it.


	41. Love Square

Sometimes, after she's put into Pet's body, she catches Ian looking at Melanie. Melanie seems to think that she should have a problem with it, but she doesn't - not really. She finds herself with the same impulse sometimes, and finds her eyes drawn to Jared before she remembers to look away.

Because it was Melanie's feelings but she remembers how it felt to love Jared.

And it was Wanda inside but Melanie's body, even if that was neither of their fault.

But she can't hate Ian for it because she understands. Most of the time they are a couple but sometimes it's a square.


	42. In His Hands

He holds her in his hands and she is quite literally glowing. He's seen Souls before, mainly on the occasions in which Doc was attempt to remove them from their Hosts, and they'd always made him cringe, that wiggling squirming thing that had taken over someone's head and squashed their own thoughts to pieces.

But this was different.

This was Wanda.

Wanda was good and kind and everything that a Soul shouldn't be, couldn't be until he met her.

Holding her in his hands was like nothing he'd ever felt before. To be honest, no matter how silly it would be, he didn't really want to put her back.


	43. Fragile

Wanda has never really considered how fragile human bodies are. They're far more fragile than some of her other bodies and yet somehow they're not.

These bodies are strong, and good, and far more than functional (after all she's lived on planets with far less than ten toes and far less colours).

But they are susceptible to emotion, human feelings that are so overpowering that they cripple her and leave her unable to breathe under their weight. They drown her, until she feels like her Soul is going to explode out of its Host.

It's like nothing she's ever felt before.


	44. Looking

Jared doesn't know what to do, not with this Soul looking at him with Melanie's eyes, like he's the only thing holding her to Earth.

He doesn't get it. Because this Soul looks at him likes he's going to save her, like if Kyle tries to shoot her that he's going to rescue her.

Sometimes he forgets that it isn't Melanie anymore because Melanie used to watch him like that, like he could give her the moon and fix the world at the same time, make everything back to how it was before.

This Soul in her body has no reason to look at him like that.


	45. When I Grow Up

Back when she was a kid Melanie had dreamt of so many things. She had dreamt of becoming a princess (only fuelled by a visit to Disneyland when she was almost four) or an actress or a teacher or an astronaut. She remembered learning all the names of the planets in their solar system, just in case.

She remembered every school play, training her for the day when she was on Broadway, every time she copied her teacher because her teacher was the _best_ one _ever_ and she wanted to be just as good.

And then she had to give up her dreams, even the more realistic ones.

Now her dream was to survive.


	46. Sometimes

Sharon doesn't know what she's supposed to think. This alien has taken over her cousins body - she's seen the devastation on Jared's face when he looks at her and she hates it because she's seen how Jamie adores him. This _thing_ could be the downfall of them all - it could lead the Seekers straight to where they're hiding and get them all killed.

But Doc seems to like, really like her, and so does Uncle Jeb and Jamie and Ian.

To be honest, she doesn't get why.

Sometimes she thinks she'd like to.

But she can't look at her in this body.


	47. Body Snatching

As much as she hates him leaving the safety of the caves, Melanie can't stop Jamie from coming out with them when they go to pick Wanda a new body.

And in truth she doesn't want to.

It's a good thing he came along, in the end, because with Ian refusing to leave Doc's room she doesn't really know who she's supposed to get. Jared's no real help because he doesn't really know Wanda but even sharing the same head space doesn't seem to be helping Melanie with this.

Jamie keeps on vetoing various people that either she or Jared point out and after he explains she understands why that couldn't possibly be Wanda.

This time though she thinks she's got it.

Jamie agrees.


	48. Real

Ian looks at Wanda in Melanie's body and even he isn't sure if it's really her that he loves. He can't deny that this body isn't pretty, but that's not what makes him like her (he thinks).

This is the bad thing about falling in love with a Soul because you can never really be sure if you're falling in love with them in their packaging or not.

He is forcibly reminded of this notion when Wanda pulls her self-sacrificing act with Melanie's body.

He loves her for it, because it's so kind and so selfless, and he knows that it's real.


	49. Murder

She knows why Wanda is doing this - why she wants this to happen. It's a side effects of sharing the same head space for however long.

And it makes her feel selfish, because she can feel how tired Wanda is. She loves Ian, but she's lived so many lives and this one is the most painful of them all and she just wants it all over, even if she uses the excuse that Melanie needs her own body back.

Melanie can't believe that Doc agreed to this though - this, right here, will be murderer, because this time the death is intentional.


	50. Awake And Alone

She can feel it straight away, as she starts to come round.

It's the new emptiness in her head.

She's alone.

The thought makes her bolt upright, glancing around desperately for any sign of a wilting Wanda left out on a table to die. Because she won't let her new sister do something like that. They'll have to tie her to this table to stop her from putting Wanda somewhere safe, no matter what she has to say about it.

Doc grabs her arm and looks her in the eyes, and she relaxes because he is fine.

And that means Wanda is fine.


	51. Clear

"Jamie!" Wanda shouts and throws her arms around him. Something like bemusement rises in him and he hugs her back, not even knowing where this exuberance is coming from.

What's made Wanda so happy?

Form what he's seen the last few days it should be the exact opposite - he was technically her younger brother after all. He noticed things.

He could feel the odd trickle of tears on his shoulder and feel Wanda tremble.

"Wanda?"

She looked up at him and her eyes were free of silver, clear for the first time in months.

Jamie sucked in a breath, hardly believing it. "Melanie...?"


	52. Need To Know

They're hiding something from him, Jamie knows, Jared and Uncle Jeb and Sharon and Doc.

There's something that's changed, he can tell from the way that they look at him, with an edge of pity and sadness. He almost thinks that he doesn't need to know.

But he does.

And they won't give him any answers, so he starts to look for himself.

And he finds the answer, hidden away in the darkness of the tunnels, only shown by the ring of silver in her eyes.

His sister.

Only not he's sister.

Maybe he really doesn't need to know. But he does.


	53. Fade To Black

Wanda wakes up on a Fire planet when she opens her eyes. It's just as beautiful as she remembers, but somehow dimmer with these eyes. These eyes aren't made for this world.

Or maybe it's just how old the memory is becoming, no matter how many times she dreams about it. She's been on Earth for a few months, and spent even longer away from this planet, not even counting the decades it took to travel between planets.

Perhaps this memory is starting to fade, around the edges.

Or maybe it's being overshadowed by all the new memories she's making.


	54. One

She'd felt so alone, even though she'd had everyone else - Ian, Jared, Jamie, Jeb.

They weren't like her.

They were human and she was all the things that they'd learnt to hate.

No matter how much they'd accepted her, she wasn't the same. She was different.

She could never really be part of their group, feel part of their family.

And she'd never felt how much that had bothered her until she wasn't the only one anymore, until they'd met the others.

There was more than one Soul living with humans, other people that could understand.

She wasn't alone.


	55. Connotations

Sometimes she doesn't really understand Earth, She says things - normal things - but the humans around her flush red or giggle and then they have to explain to her.

Normally that's the part that's embarrassing.

Sure, she has the memories of whatever body she's in (most of the time), but that doesn't mean she understands how they work. _She's_ never had someone talk her through the birds and the bees and the multiple connotations of several words and phrases, and when some of them just aren't appropriate.

Ian doesn't mind though. It's like watching her grow up, adapt to a new home.

He wonders what she was like on other planets and wishes that he could've seen it.


	56. Trapped

She doesn't wake up, not at all, while the Souls are fixing her body. She remains trapped firmly inside her own mind, because she doesn't know how much longer it will be hers.

But she feels them healing her, so that they can use her for their own purpose and twist her to their own aims. She can feel her broken bones mending and all the scrapes and cuts healing.

And she hates it, because she knows that it means that they are preparing her and she doesn't even want to know what for.

Because she knows that they'll use her against the people she loves.


	57. Dark

Living in the caves is strange, after so many years on planets where the colours are so different. It is dark in the caves and the _absence_ of colour is strange from the other planets where different colours had been seen from different eyes.

No matter how much it unsettles her, she puts up with it, because Jamie and Jared and Ian and Jeb are here and she's found herself strangely attached to all of them, even if that feeling isn't necessarily reciprocated.

She realises that she isn't really living in the dark, but standing in the light. It's lighter than she's ever seen before.


	58. Join Them

She supposes that this is what it's like to have a family. She watches them all and she's impressed. No one really _likes_ Lacey, who never stops complaining or whining or just generally insulting someone. She never stops being ungrateful for the home that they've given her, never stops moaning that she's hungry on these meagre rations.

But they welcome her anyway. They could blindfold her and take her out into the desert, leave her to find her own way.

They don't.

Instead she becomes part of them, just like Jamie and Ian and Jared and Kyle and everyone else.


	59. Differences

Jared never quite knew what to think of the Soul. Despite the fact that she was in Melanie's body, she didn't act a thing like Melanie.

Melanie was tough and brash and fearless, never afraid to let anyone know what she thought. She was determined to survive the mess the world had become.

This Soul had made her softer, more vulnerable, and maybe even more human, no matter how strange that sounded. She always looked slightly out of her depth, lost.

Melanie had been perfect to survive this world.

But somehow, slowly, he thought that Wanda would be too bad in it either.


	60. Lies

Fords Deep Waters didn't really know what to think about the Soul Wanderer. She had been so sweet, so brave, so legendary, that he could hardly believe what the Seekers were saying about her. The Soul he had known was scared and confused, not yet knowing this planet.

The Seekers described her as a traitor to her own.

And maybe there had been a string of odd coincidences lately, but that was the fault of rebel humans, not one frightened Soul.

He wasn't fond of this planet, no matter how much at home he was. The people here had too much of their own awareness for him to feel comfortable implanting Souls into their bodies.


	61. Saving

She doesn't feel it, the cut that they make into her neck to open her up and dig her out, replace her with someone new - some_thing_ else.

But when she wakes up she feels the absence of control and it's not hard to work out what had happened. She had been running from the Seekers after all, though she was surprised that her fall hadn't killed her. Perhaps she shouldn't be.

The Souls claim to be saving humanity, not killing it.

Instead she's trapped, feeling herself come back to life inside her own body but she can't do anything about it.


	62. Confused

To be honest, she's confused.

She thought that the minute she was out of Melanie's body that her feelings for Jared would vanish - they were Melanie's feelings after all.

But they hadn't.

Instead it's just like before, loving Ian, but having some kind of connection to Jared, one that she can't explain.

And she doesn't like it - she knows exactly how much Melanie loves Jared and how much she loves Ian.

So why can't she get over him?

She doesn't know and she doesn't like it.

How is she supposed to look any of them in the eye feeling like this?


	63. Alone In My Head

For once she is alone. There is no voice trying to fight back, no trying to fight the guilt of what she's done in the fight to survive.

For once, she is alone in her head.

And she likes it, because she can do whatever she wants without having to fight for it. Melanie had fought her on everything - what to eat, where to go, who to kiss.

She hated not having a mind of her own, the inability to do anything.

But this body, Pet's, is empty. There is only her in here.

And, honestly, she loves it.


	64. Dreaming

When he wakes up the next morning he's determined that things will be different. They'll find a way for Wanda and Melanie to co-exist, or at least get another body ready so that they can both be here.

But when he rolls over Wanda isn't there.

He freezes for a minute, keeping his eyes closed because if he opens them then this isn't a dream, this is _real_.

But when he stretches out she still isn't there and his eyes snap open. He gets to his feet in a flash and is heading to Doc's room before he even realises that he's left the room.

He needs to get there.


End file.
